Mastering the Art of Complaining

By Geoffrey Muhoozi

If there is any nationality or people who complain like the English, they should stand up to be counted!!

The art of complaining as I choose to call it is where people get to complain about anything. To make it worse, they even complain about having nothing to complain about. At times it is a genuine complaint but better to have let pass.

The Naturalised British or Ugandans who eventually become British and swear allegiance to the Queen, have also picked up the annoying habit and are actually more catholic than the Pope.

With every complaint made, an investigation is instituted and a report to that effect made. Good enough, but not satisfactory and at times just a wastage of money and time that would have been used for other constructive things.

A while ago, an HIV positive Briton went to a Traditional Healer in Manchester and was promised medicine that would cure the disease. Later he later came to learn that he had actually been taken for a ride and lost a lot of money in the HIV healing scam.

He later complained a complaints commission which promised to look into the matter and investigate the case. The findings of the investigation have never been made public but we are eagerly waiting to know what really happened.

Another annoying scenario was at Heathrow Airport in the wake of the foiled terrorist attack that was meant to blow up several passenger planes. When it was announced that there was no one to take any hand luggage onto any flight and anything any passenger needed was to be put into the cargo hold. Anything needed for health issues or otherwise was to be put into a clear plastic bag.

Now comes this woman looking really smart and carrying an expensive bag. She goes up to the Check – in – agent and says; ‘I can’t let my bag go into the hold because of its value. It is an expensive bag and I can’t risk losing it in the hold.’

It is like all airport staff had been told to be rude and arrogant. The Agent had this to say to the complaining woman.

‘Madam, I refuse to talk to you unless you do as told. Next please.’ He beckoned the next passenger. That was a classic for me because personally I wouldnt have wasted any more time with that woman given the number of people that were in the queue that waited to be attended to.

There is what the British call statutory rights. This also comes with anything bought from a shop provided one has a receipt for the product bought. So the complaining British take it to their advantage to even use and return stuff to where they bought them from.

Just walk into a shop buy something, take it home or compare its price with other stores and then return it and say, you didn’t like it. You will now be entitled to a refund or another item of your choice worth that money.

Racism and discrimination have become intricate issues in society. Anything you say or do to any one may be taken for one of the above given the colour, race, religion or gender of one of the parties involved. Managers or any other people who directly deal with other people are so wary of what they say or may do by way of implication. But all this is always made an issue by blacks who think they are discriminated against. Labour tribunals have so many cases involving Blacks being racially abused and Ladies complaining against being discriminated against.

Imagine you have a Birthday Party, but you have to inform you neighbour about it and ask them to come if they so wish. If your relationship with your neighbour isn’t that good you may have the Police knocking at your door at 12 midnight telling you to turn down the volume of the music or go to bed.

Not so long ago, we had a funeral or call it a night vigil on the loss of our grannie but at 3am, a neighbour had the courtesy to knock on the door, and inform us she had been trying to catch some sleep but we were too loud and if we didnt cut down the shouting she would call the police. The look I gave her seemed to have sent some message to her and we didnt hear the police knock on the door despite we carrying on with the talking.

The other day a Lady called the Police and complained that she had caught her Boyfriend with another woman in their bed. The Police was so good, drove to the address and all they could say was; ‘this is a domestic matter and we can’t get involved.’

A parking ticket, Clamp on your car or towing it away are some of the most annoying things. Most of theses fines are really genuine for the drivers are totally wrong but 90% of drivers who get parking fines appeal against the fines and claim to be innocent. Some of them get away with it and some get to pay.

I thought it was really silly to always complain but I have also got into the habit of always whinging at any opportunity and returning stuff I find not good for my liking. Reason is it saves you money in fines and you finally get what you want.