About Me

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Geoffrey T. Muhoozi is a Ugandan trained Public Relations Practitioner and Journalist. He Studied at Makerere University Kampala and read Mass Communication with a bias in Public Relations. In between the course, he studied the Art of Public Speaking. He joined Uganda’s Leading Daily, The New Vision during his second year and practiced journalism till he left for The United Kingdom.In the UK, he persued an NCC International Diploma in Computing at London College of Business Studies and Computing. He went on to do a Masters Degree in Business Administration [MBA]specialsing in Marketing. In spite of being in The United Kingdom, he still contributes for The New Vision and The Sunday Vision newspapers when time allows.

Monday, July 27, 2009


This is a collection of what people think about being in Uganda for a very long time.

-Your phone rings and it is a wrong number and you can keep the Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello's going back and forth like a tennis match until eventually the caller realises you are the wrong number and abruptly hangs up, after spending at least 2 minutes worth of airtime. (Natalie McComb)

- You get arrested and start bargaining over the bribe whilst you drive yourself to jail. (Jason McKelvie)

- When malaria number 10 is cause for a party. (Ailsa Woolard)

- When the power goes off in chicago during a storm and it makes you homesick...(Sarah Larson)

- When you enter into a room of people and say Well done! (Tamar Stockley)

- Your standard response to someone's greetings becomes "I AM FINE, HOW ARE YOU?!". (Maanan Madhvani)

- You start saying "the what?" in every what? In every sentence. (Christopher Laughlin)

- Al's bar becomes a form of speed dating! (Tom Slater)

-You start referring to people as “this one” or “that one”. (Heather Lawrence)

- Clothes becomes a two-syllable word. Clo - thes. (Ruth Townley)

- You know you've been in Uganda for a long time when... you join this group! (Joshua Carlson)

- When the sight of a boda-boda with a passenger carrying yet another boda-boda [effectively a boda-boda breakdown service] does not cause you to raise an eyebrow. (Kaz Kasozi)

- When you stand in a queue and feel something is very wrong because it is orderly and the person behind you respects your personal space. (Nick Astles)

- When you're no longer surprised that a boda boda guy will try to convince you to become his customer by running you over. (Andrea Bohnstedt)

- When you have named the potholes. (Nanna Schneidermann)

- Your knees ache from squating over a long drop 4 times a day because you ran out of ciproflaxcin a month ago...(Jeremy Schmitz)

- Its 32 degrees C outside and you can still see one or two people fully dressed Sweater and all. (Kaliika Annat)

- When you start craving for a 'Big Mac'. (Ash Kotecha)

- When you are sincerely disorganised...meaning shit faced!!!! (Haris Coussidis)

- When you know that a Swiss Loll at the Belgian bakery is a Swiss Roll. And that the man asking for Lose actually refers to Rose. (Sanne Andersen)

- When you don't get confused even though the person you're talking to keeps mixing up 'he' and 'she' in the same sentence. (Kirstine Corneliussen Magoola)

- When you point with your lips and say yes with your eyebrows. (Marcia Baugh)

- When are reluctant to let go of a new, CLEAN 1000 shilling note. (Daisy Asiimwe)

- You start thinking drinking beer with a straw is cool. (Joel Wandurwa)

- When your home does not have an address. (Alice Kimbowa)

- When you exhibit NRE bar behaviour in a Michelin star restaurant in a ball gown in london... (Naomi Swain)

- When the beggar starts giving out change. (Morgan Gyaviira Bonna)

- When people use please in everything they say when talking to you and it does not sound weird at all.........`bye please'...."thank you please" (Mimmy Khamis )

- When you still have to look left,right and left again before crossing a one way street. (Francis Musinguzi)

- When that article in Wikipedia on Ugandan English totally makes sense (Martin Ucanda / Anne Mugisha)

- When you consider going to Garden City a "trip to the Mall", made even more special if the escalator is switched on (Stuart Cook)

- The idea of using someone's establishment as a waiting or meeting room without giving them any business does not appall you at all (Lydia Namubiru)

- You hold up a fart in public, not knowing it obviously ends in the brain..., which is why many of we Ugandans end up speaking shit, which would have been avoided (Alex Balimwikungu)

- you yell, "muzungu" at other muzungu's you see walking down the road as you pass them in your car (Virginia Earwicker)

- When near death experiences on bodas become an amusing daily routine (Sarah Lightfoot)

- When you blush/smile whenever someone mentions a particular city in Afghanistan...thanks to The red pepper (Lorac Mutesi)

- when u notice strangers staring in ur face like they have known u all their lives (Laurhita Kisa)

- when you give a naked beggar in the middle of an intersection a samosa, and he disgustedly refuses because he wanted a chapat instead... (Nicole Galovski Hawkins)

- When people around you can't tell instantly which is left or right (Steven M. Kiggs)

- When you give inanimate objects the capability to act and feel, e.g. "this soda is defeating me" or "This computer is refusing to work" (Marianne Bach Mosebo)

- When you ask a new acquaintance if they are on FACE BOOK and they reply no am on UTL / MTN / CELTEL / WARID (Daniel Bwente)

- When u visit garden city to get onto the escalator ("just for just") (Doreen Lwanga)

- When you say "let me come" and you go in the opposite direction! (Maureen B Ndahura)

- When instead of asking to be passed something you say stuff like "Please assist me with the salt" (Bill Reynell)

- When "E" on the fuel gauge means Enough (Alex Porter)

- When the taxi conductor speaks of Obama like a long lost friend! (Jimmy Delyon)

- When the garbage dump next to your house becomes a landmark on the Kampala A-Z (Rachael Akidi)

- When u ask a waitress to show u the ladies and she says 'it's near that Hinkini signpost' meaning Heiniken poster (Becky Akello)

- When you finally take it as a compliment and smile sincerely when someone comments on how fat you have grown (Karin Bridger)

- When you express surprise by saying "Eh!" (Rebecca Swan)

- When you call a cab a 'special hire' (Charles Mugyenzi)

- There's temptation to have your beer with a straw! (Eric Liyala)

- When a road that has not been opened for public use [Northern bypass] develops potholes (Benjamin Muganzi)

- When someone says "come again" instead of " I beg your pardon" (Sheila Tumwine)

- When the single shots have run out and you have to order a double (Lana Forbes)

- When you are no longer surprised that the guy you just met is called Grace (Violet Violette)

- When you have no problem saying "nice time" (Trish Ben Bella)

- When you know that incompetent and "level best" are the same thing (Goran Olsson)

- When you have witnessed a deafening whistling competition between the police and traffic wardens at road junctions (Ruta Dor)

- When you ask where the bathroom is, and the response is, "short call or long call"? (Karen Cassidy)

- When greetings take hours like: -"Oliyota nyabo?"
"Gendi" then they proceed with a lot of "Mhmmmmm", "Mhmmmmm"
with each one a little higher. (Jasmine Danielle Sullivan)

- When it is o.k. for another guy to impulsively call you, 'My dear' (John Kamau Matalanga)

- When you have nicely chiseled and perfect square potholes (Suna Kironde)

- When only Ugandans show up at weddings, showers, graduation and birthday parties in a new outfit with nails and hair done but no gift (Micho Jay)

- When the man on the radio saying, 'today is national erection day' does not cause you to raise an eyebrow (Julie Scullion)