About Me

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Geoffrey T. Muhoozi is a Ugandan trained Public Relations Practitioner and Journalist. He Studied at Makerere University Kampala and read Mass Communication with a bias in Public Relations. In between the course, he studied the Art of Public Speaking. He joined Uganda’s Leading Daily, The New Vision during his second year and practiced journalism till he left for The United Kingdom.In the UK, he persued an NCC International Diploma in Computing at London College of Business Studies and Computing. He went on to do a Masters Degree in Business Administration [MBA]specialsing in Marketing. In spite of being in The United Kingdom, he still contributes for The New Vision and The Sunday Vision newspapers when time allows.

Monday, August 28, 2006

Love, Marriage and learning how to drive.

By Geoffrey Muhoozi

Love, marriage and learning how to drive are things that have refused to mix over time. It is strange but true that a man can never teach their spouse how to drive and the reverse is true.

You may say NO to my finding but this has proved more than true. Some ladies have told their friends that the best person to choose for a driving instructor should never be a spouse or someone who you are or may get interested in or sexually attracted to because Love and driving do not mix and when they do so the result is always kind of disastrous.

One thing for sure is that driving needs a lot of patience but whoever is instructing should at times be hard on the learner and that is where the learner tends to lose it and the two almost come to blows.

Learners especially women want to be handled with kid gloves when learning to drive but tend to take things for granted and with that kind of treatment with kid gloves, they may take forever to get onto the road by themselves. They tend to insist not being shouted at as they are being instructed but however much you are soft and patient but keep saying the same thing over and over again to an adult, you will eventually lose it and outburst.

Driving calls for concentration, patience, thinking fast and being able to act almost spontaneously which many people lack. That eventually leads to bickering about what to tell certain people to do while they take their driving lessons.

One thing people have failed to understand is that the way a trained driving instructor will handle a learner is not the way a spouse will handle a wife/ girlfriend during lessons. The level of closeness is different even given the fact that the driving instructor is doing his job and is being paid for it while your spouse is just helping you to acquire that very important skill that could save a life.

When it comes to what not to do when taking lessons with a helper of the opposite sex, the first rule should always be to always fight the temptation of getting sexually attracted to them because that may mark the end of the helping with the driving. It may sound false or even far fetched but many people especially women will agree with me.

Second rule; if he is already your lover, forget about the bedroom matters and be submissive by listening to what he tells you to do however rude he may sound. He may sound rude but he is doing it for your own good and saving you lots of money that would have gone to the driving school instructors. For an hour or two act the fool and believe me, you will learn to drive.

I know you can find love in the strangest of places, teaching how to drive being one of them but, for both the instructor and the learner, if you can avoid falling of reach other in the course of the lessons and wait till the learner is through with the learning, has passed their test and acquired a drivers’ licence then you can take it from there.

That would be a perfect way to have met and would be memorable and always cherished rather than stopping the lessons, falling into love, breaking up later only for the former learner to regret having met you and allowed you to instruct them and later shatter their dream of learning to drive in the name of love.

For those who have met their spouses through teaching how to drive and these ladies haven’t mastered the art yet, put the love aside for a while and teach them how to drive. I know it may be so heard given all that comes with Love and driving but helping this lady how to drive is the best skill you can ever give her and she will always cherish you for that.

Mastering the Art of Complaining

By Geoffrey Muhoozi

If there is any nationality or people who complain like the English, they should stand up to be counted!!

The art of complaining as I choose to call it is where people get to complain about anything. To make it worse, they even complain about having nothing to complain about. At times it is a genuine complaint but better to have let pass.

The Naturalised British or Ugandans who eventually become British and swear allegiance to the Queen, have also picked up the annoying habit and are actually more catholic than the Pope.

With every complaint made, an investigation is instituted and a report to that effect made. Good enough, but not satisfactory and at times just a wastage of money and time that would have been used for other constructive things.

A while ago, an HIV positive Briton went to a Traditional Healer in Manchester and was promised medicine that would cure the disease. Later he later came to learn that he had actually been taken for a ride and lost a lot of money in the HIV healing scam.

He later complained a complaints commission which promised to look into the matter and investigate the case. The findings of the investigation have never been made public but we are eagerly waiting to know what really happened.

Another annoying scenario was at Heathrow Airport in the wake of the foiled terrorist attack that was meant to blow up several passenger planes. When it was announced that there was no one to take any hand luggage onto any flight and anything any passenger needed was to be put into the cargo hold. Anything needed for health issues or otherwise was to be put into a clear plastic bag.

Now comes this woman looking really smart and carrying an expensive bag. She goes up to the Check – in – agent and says; ‘I can’t let my bag go into the hold because of its value. It is an expensive bag and I can’t risk losing it in the hold.’

It is like all airport staff had been told to be rude and arrogant. The Agent had this to say to the complaining woman.

‘Madam, I refuse to talk to you unless you do as told. Next please.’ He beckoned the next passenger. That was a classic for me because personally I wouldnt have wasted any more time with that woman given the number of people that were in the queue that waited to be attended to.

There is what the British call statutory rights. This also comes with anything bought from a shop provided one has a receipt for the product bought. So the complaining British take it to their advantage to even use and return stuff to where they bought them from.

Just walk into a shop buy something, take it home or compare its price with other stores and then return it and say, you didn’t like it. You will now be entitled to a refund or another item of your choice worth that money.

Racism and discrimination have become intricate issues in society. Anything you say or do to any one may be taken for one of the above given the colour, race, religion or gender of one of the parties involved. Managers or any other people who directly deal with other people are so wary of what they say or may do by way of implication. But all this is always made an issue by blacks who think they are discriminated against. Labour tribunals have so many cases involving Blacks being racially abused and Ladies complaining against being discriminated against.

Imagine you have a Birthday Party, but you have to inform you neighbour about it and ask them to come if they so wish. If your relationship with your neighbour isn’t that good you may have the Police knocking at your door at 12 midnight telling you to turn down the volume of the music or go to bed.

Not so long ago, we had a funeral or call it a night vigil on the loss of our grannie but at 3am, a neighbour had the courtesy to knock on the door, and inform us she had been trying to catch some sleep but we were too loud and if we didnt cut down the shouting she would call the police. The look I gave her seemed to have sent some message to her and we didnt hear the police knock on the door despite we carrying on with the talking.

The other day a Lady called the Police and complained that she had caught her Boyfriend with another woman in their bed. The Police was so good, drove to the address and all they could say was; ‘this is a domestic matter and we can’t get involved.’

A parking ticket, Clamp on your car or towing it away are some of the most annoying things. Most of theses fines are really genuine for the drivers are totally wrong but 90% of drivers who get parking fines appeal against the fines and claim to be innocent. Some of them get away with it and some get to pay.

I thought it was really silly to always complain but I have also got into the habit of always whinging at any opportunity and returning stuff I find not good for my liking. Reason is it saves you money in fines and you finally get what you want.