Men are the happiest creatures alive today

Come to think of it: our body anatomy often gives us a competitive advantage over others in many ways. I’m talking about men in particular.

Some would argue that by creating men with a missile sticking out, God seems to have inadvertently given them some advantages over their female sisters. Take the ability to urinate on the roadside with ease, for example. You do not need to pull down all stuff in order to irrigate the hedge on someone's nice house. No. You just pull out your weapon, aim a jet at a poor insect and you're done. One minute flat.

And so, according to my friend, that’s what makes men the happiest creatures on earth. Consider this argument below and judge for yourself, ladies:

Men are just happier people what do you expect from such simple creatures? If you’re a man, the world is your urinal. Your last name stays put (well, not anymore these days, guys, what with these crazy feminists). The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. You don’t have to stop and think twice which way to turn a nut on a bolt. You can open all your own jars.

You never have to drive to another gas station toilet because this one is just too messy; you just aim a long shot from a safe distance, shake it, and you're good to go. Same work, but more pay for you. Wrinkles add character to your face.

People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet. You have one mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you to a party, he or she can still be your friend. You don't have to remember everybody’s birthday all the time. Not even your wife’s.

Three pairs of shoes are more than you need. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are rarely notice wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. Well, and those other parts, of course.

You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes - one color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look, who cares? You can “do” your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache…

Plus, you can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. Yep. No wonder men are happier creatures!