The Last King of Ankole land

Next year, I could win the best director Oscar for my movie The Last King Of Ankole Land. The Ankole king I'm talking about is not Prince Barigye, since he has never been enthroned, but his President Yoweri Museveni that many call the Sabagabe.

Now if a Museveni story is not the stuff a Hollywood thriller is made of, then I will contact my Nollywood friends of Ekinigeria. It will begin during the 1980 election period where our film star was the Abed Bwanika of that time - getting an inconsequential number of votes. Surprisingly, he cries more than the bereaved - Paul Kawanga Ssemwogere whose votes have been rigged and goes to the bush to fight.

Depending on who has financed the production of the movie, the bush war story could be told differently. We could follow President Museveni's account in Sowing the Mustard Seed or the Besigye Series that ran in Daily Monitor a while ago. If Museveni finances it, we could portray him as a great commander like his recently unveiled statue.

The Besigye character is what every movie needs - a supporting actor. And don't say that I copied The Last King Of Scotland, which has Dr. Garrigan as Amin's doctor to give the supporting role to a doctor. It is just a coincidence that the two characters are presidential doctors.

I hope the president will lend me his army and Mambas, like he did for the people who made the Last King Of Scotland. But unlike the Last King Of Scotland where the directors had to recreate Uganda in the 1970s, it won't be difficult for me to recreate the Uganda of 1986 when the NRA stormed Kampala and promised a fundamental change.

The pot-holed roads they found in 1986 are back. The only person I cannot recreate is Mzee. I will need two actors because the lean man of 1986 looks bigger after more than 20 years in State House.

I won't give away the whole story just in case Ashraf Ssimogerere who did a movie about the Dr. Kiyingi murder case and was later kidnapped 'kidnaps' my storyline and comes out with a mediocre movie.

But just like the movie trailers that tease you but don't give you the whole story, I will also tease you a bit. Expect things about the ADF and LRA wars, land and forest giveaways plus making a Constitution and changing it a few years later so that our film star stays in State House.

Expect the personal doctor (Besigye) to turn against his boss for several reasons. There will also be Black Mambas storming high court commando style plus lots of teargas. Plus light moments just like in The Last King Of Scotland where Amin who loved sports was seen swimming. Here, our lead actor will wear shirt number seven for a soccer game in Namboole.

And I hope his Excellency will also honour my movie's premier with his presence when it begins showing at Cineplex Cinema. To entice him, I will include scenes of the main actor looking after cattle and the weddings of his children and their progress.

We could end it after Chogm with the main actor seeing off the Queen of England, saying , "I will be back," just like Schwarzenegger to advertise part two.